Pause And Rewind

It happens in a flash but the memories replay in slow motion. Haunting memories, the kind you wish never occurred.

Trying to teleport to a minute or two before the incident, you’re left exploring every possible outcome, if you had just done things a little different. In the end, it halts and hurts even more to realize that unwinding the damage is just wishful thinking.

Yet, let me embark on this journey for a minute. In the world of my imagination, rewind to the day before. Just one day more.

On a date at the park, seated on the tenderness of a manicured lawn, In the scenery of the sunset, I fought back the awkwardness and fear of expressing my emotions, and my lips uttered how much she meant to me. It declared my love on a thousand hills, told her she was more pleasant that daffodils and her smile made the whole world freeze for a minute.

I put my arm on her shoulders, lovely together like two sweet swans in a sea of endless romance, as I waved a taxi to a halt; reminded her before the cab drove off that the only image occupying the apartment of my memory was hers; and ended it all by saying, stay safe.

Perhaps these would have made a huge difference, granted her a second chance, prevented the drunk truck driver from even driving, or made him stop after the damage was done. The doctors said that would've made a huge difference. Or the blood of my beloved would’ve cried into the ears of a good Samaritan in time and she wouldn’t have even been in that unfortunate position.

Well, that's where the journey ends, catapulting me back to the sad reality of her demise, where I’ve forever lost the chance to tell her everything I wish was never unsaid, and wishing yesterday could come again.

Hiding in a darkroom in the hospital, I’m trying so darn hard not to cry. If the tears begin they’d never run dry. She was at the wrong spot, the driver made the wrong turn and he didn't stop, her body was found four hours later, and when she got here, her soul was already gone.

She’s gone! It was said in a flash but the way I recall the doctor's lips move was in slow motion, like I could just press pause and rewind.